I am aware that it is the natural way of things. How young become old, how little becomes big. How the days turn slowly sometimes, but the big picture is one of perpetual forward motion....time ticking away. As I sat today at Raine's Grade 8 graduation I found myself with some time to myself with no craft project to finish, no phone calls to make, no plans to plan...and I realized that it probably isn't a good thing for me to have too much real quiet time. Why did I find myself close to tears when other peoples kids were accepting their diploma? I am not usually one for happy tears, especially not for children and people that I have never met. And then the truth dawned on me (probably again, but I never seem to remember it) that I am aging along with my girls. I am still figuring myself out. I am coming to terms with the idea that I am on the road to grandmotherhood (not yet mind you) and not new motherhood. How is it that I am the mother of a 14 year who isn't even my eldest child. How does someone who still doesn't know what they want to be when they grow up help their children figure out what they want to be. Is it enough to hope that they pick up on the love and not so much on the making ends meet? There was a whole lot of speaking about figuring out your goals and then striving to reach them...does it count if a mother just wants her children's goals to be happy..is that enough in the world today?
Sheesh, turns out that on this day of celebration, I have a wee bit of a heavy heart. And I feel somewhat overwhelmed. And I love my girls in ways that I am still trying to figure out.
It is enough to want your children to be happy, they have there own road to travel, I sent mine off out into the world with love, and some times their road was a bit bumpy, but the most times smooth. All your good parenting will stand them in good stead for the future. Love and light Marie
ReplyDeleteLove is all we need to survive. It makes all the difference. You are a wonderful example of love as you have so much for your girls, nature, food, music, peace, home, all the fabulous things that matter in life. Happiness is confidence, strength, and pride. You have the right idea(s).
ReplyDeleteLots of love, Wendy
Hmmmm...I understand all you say and appreciate your honesty. My children are younger, though I am not. I stopped by from visiting with Melanie and saw your comments. I, too, am Canadian and that always resonates with me. When I have more time, I want to stop by again and linger a little longer. Your girls sound like they have a sensitive, loving mama who cares a whole lot. Blessings on them!
ReplyDeletexo Jules
My youngest had her grade 8 grad Monday evening. I also unexpectedly found myself close to tears on several occasions.
ReplyDeleteI have two now living on their own, one in college one working both living their own lives. It makes me happy but sad at the same time that the " early parenting" is over .I am also looking forward ( when they are ready!) to see what grandmothering brings. Each stage of parenting really brings a shift in who WE are.
Love is the best base,everything starts from there.
beautiful, thought (& soul) provoking post. glad to be traveling along this similar road in life and meeting up with you in spirit (via blogosphere...)
ReplyDeleteOh my, although my children are still young, what you are saying resonates with me- though they are young they are growing faster than I had expected!
ReplyDeleteI too am aging with my children, and that too is happening faster than I expected. At times it does feel overwhelming!
hugs