Monday, July 26, 2010

Words to live by

A surprising amount of time has passed since I last least I was surprised.

We have been going through a bit of a something with little over the past two weeks or so....something that I have been trying my best to resolve while keeping my sanity intact. In trying to figure out the subtleties of her world and the world at large, Hazel has been confessing each and every little "sin" (for lack of a better word) she commits. It usually starts with a "Mama, I know I shouldn't say this but......", insert everything from thinking that dreadlocks aren't pretty to saying the word "crap" in her head. Other times I would hear her saying "No brain I am not listening to you....."
Initially I tried to respond to each and every issue with an explanation but, let me tell you, after a few days it started to drive me nuts. I had no more room in my brain to carry on this way....I didn't need to know all of it. However, knowing full well that this was probably a fundamental learning quest for her, I needed to come up with something that would help both of us out. In the end, the solution came....I remembered a quote, or part of a quote from the book by Kim John Payne called Simplicity Parenting. It goes something like this:

"Is it important, is it necessary and is it kind".

I wrote it out on a chalkboard for all of us to see. Lo and behold, every morning she asks me to read it to her to remind her brain of the rules and that is that. She seems be have a better handle on working most of the little things out for herself. It has the added benefit of just being there to help keep us all mindful.


  1. Just wrote a big comment and somehow lost it. Love this quote, thanks for reminding me of it..can't remember where I first heard it.
    I love that we parent in a time where we take the time to consider WHY our children do certain things, and deal with them compassionately and respectfully. Imagine the wonderful adults they'll grow to be, knowing that their fears, worries, and questions were addressed with love. Good for you!
    I found a lovely parcel in my mailbox this afternoon..what a thrill! Watch YOURS for an honest-to-goodness thank you card!

  2. How wonderful! I'm putting this up on my wall somewhere too! What a great reminder for everyone in the house!!!
    xo maureen